Sandler may have left the session but Paul Blart: Mall Cop is now available on Netflix.Īnd yes hello, welcome to my series of Paul Blarticles.SEX/NUDITY 3 - A man and a woman kiss and hold hands. Through creative and insightful listening techniques of the Paul Blart: Mall Cop soundtrack, we become one of the Grown Ups ™. We feel the Sandler-produced parasocial bonds reverberate through the plastic of the headphones. We become that close pal of Sandler through the meditation on ELO, REO Speedwagon, or whatever other acronym-ed band he could jam into the score for us to listen to on our PlayStation Portables. Sure, it might sound like a lot of steps to achieve this result, but for a brief moment, we become Kevin James. I closed my eyes and stepped out of the Dodge into 2020. I glimpsed at the mirror and realized that I had now morphed. See, the score has these somber undertones one could only interpret through a Sandler-specific aughts dimension. As those wavelengths flattened out, I realized my time with him was coming to an end. The event had struck a chord with us both as our eyes sparkled.
“Weekend in New England” by Barry Manilow underscored the moment.Īfter a half-hour of listening to this shorter-than-usual score, I felt the kinship between Sandler and I increase tenfold. His eyes shifted back to a particular photo of himself and Kevin James as he explained how he let James select a few tracks for the film. He thanked me and recalled tales of the times on-set with his pals. Sandler glanced down at his Motorola Razr, perhaps alluding that this used to be the ringtone for their group chats. I went with Rasheeda’s “My Bubble Gum” and it blasted through the 2009 sound system. He glanced into the rear-view mirror as if expecting me to request the next track. The photos I had brought with me had blurred into photos of Adam and his closest pals Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Chris Farley, and of course Kevin James. Adam Sandler had been summoned to the vehicle, but upon further inspection, it was I who had been summoned to the Sandman. As I queued up “Parade of Champions” by Philippe Briand and Gabriel Saban on my PSP, the Sandler portal enveloped me.
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